God is so very faithful. It would take a full volume of books to pen every way God has proven Himself trustworthy in my life up to this point. Sometimes I get jittery and lack trust in Him, but one look at His faithfulness reminds me I have nothing to fear. Truly I serve a great God who loves me and is intimately involved in every detail of my life.
Just this morning Evie and I met with a new financial advisor regarding our retirement/financial planning. To be honest, I left the meeting feeling someone defeated because we definitely aren’t on par with where I thought we would be at this stage in life.
If you know me well, you know that I am a numbers person, particularly in the area of personal finances. Budgeting, planning, and accounting are some of my favorite things to do (I know I am a dork). On paper, I saw in vivid detail our financial prognosis and thought sarcastically to myself, “well look how well you provide”. I comforted myself with the thoughts of financial “accomplishments”: we have no debt, we have three months of expenses saved up, we are investing, and we aren’t living month to month. But the gnawing reality that our Roth IRA was behind, we have no equity, and we have to watch every little penny bothered me.
I thought about our giving, and how thankful I was to contribute above our tithe every month. As I pondered, I thought this prayer, “God if I was blessed with more You know I would give more, and would be wise and frugal with Your money. I have not been frivolous or wasteful, and I know I would be a good steward of Your investment into me.”
On the way home, my mind began to think of side hustles and areas to cut back. The more I thought the more trapped I felt. I knew God had led me to this place, and as best I could tell nothing foolish had been done in my life to explain this financial headache. Evie and I had opportunity to talk about the meeting, and reluctantly I shard my heart about my failure and inadequacy as a provider. My financial, pen to paper, mind was working overtime at this point trying to make sense of everything.
God showed Himself faithful once again, this time through my loving wife. The greatest asset the Lord ever gave me was my godly woman. She has never complained about finances, has supported me in every decision, and has always been eager to give to the Lord. She has humbled herself on multiple occasions and put the needs of her family first. This wonderful woman looked me in the face and began to rehearse all the good things God has done for us. Every single time He has provided through the most unlikely sources. He has never failed us. This godly woman began to tell me how much her faith had been stretched and how much God had shown Himself faithful in her life. I wish I could take the time and tell you every single financial blessing God has brought our way.
The revelation that came to my soul at that moment was nothing short of an epiphany. I know God called me here, I know I am doing what He has called me to do, and I know He has never failed… so why was I fretting? My family has never known need, and we have many bonus blessings in the form of wants provided. God has blessed us with a marvelous church that loves us and cares about us more than any other flock has ever cared for their under shepherd. God is not alarmed at my finances, and I don’t need to stress and scheme to figure it out. It might not completely make sense on paper, but I rest in the reality that God has it under control.
This epiphany that came to me has nothing to do with occupation or income, and everything to do with faith. Currently, Evie and I are making more than we have in five years. Yet the feelings of inadequacy came today, and not years ago. As I mentioned before, our church loves us and has taken great care of us. My fears were not a result of seeing something new or unexpected in my bank account, but getting my eyes off the Lord in the area of finances.
What about you? Are you where God wants you to be, and are you doing what God has called you to do? Are you being a good steward of God’s finances? Why are you freaking out about your money? NO, read that again… WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT ABOUT YOUR MONEY? Just be where and what God wants you to be, and He will take care of the rest. Has He proven Himself faithful? Yes, yes He has, and He will continue to be faithful time and time again. By faith trust God with your finances.